Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
