Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
