Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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