so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize