you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
