I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
