in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
