is your mom at the bar?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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