In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
