Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
