i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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