why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
