If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
