We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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