We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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