Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The air taste purple.
Randomize