Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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