Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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