Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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