this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
