Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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