I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
