Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
