I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize