Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
