I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm always down for nudity.
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