I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
