I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
only you would photoshop your dick
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
