it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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