Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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