I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
