Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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