YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
