I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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