not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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