i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
