I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
