if you like me you must not know who I am
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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