Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize