i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
