No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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