tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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