I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize