Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
