I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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