Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
