Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
