Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
