worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We are all done wearing pants today
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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