worst night to have a conscience
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
