I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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