good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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