i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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