Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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