I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
