You work out of a Hotel?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
