if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
