Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
