Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
