he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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