he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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