bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
