ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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