I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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