His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
