dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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