Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
