I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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