You're my little dorito
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
