Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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